نكت عن البخلاء تموت ضحك هههه‎.haha.‎هههه

ﻣﺮﺓ ﻓﻲ3ﺑﺨﻼﺀ ﺭﺍﺣﻮ ﻟﻲ
ﺗﺒﺮﻉ ﻟﺠﻤﻌﻴﺔ ﺧﻴﺮﻳﺔ ﻓﺎﻻﻭﻝ
ﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻧﺎ ﺣﻄﻠﻊ ﻣﺒﻠﻎ ﻭ ﺍﺭﻣﻴﻪ
ﻋﻠﻲ ﺍﻟﺤﻴﻄﺔ ﻭ ﺍﻟﻠﻲ ﻳﻠﺰﺀ
ﺣﺘﺒﺮﻉ ﺑﻴﻪ ﺍﻟﻠﻲ ﻳﻮﻗﻊ ﺍﺧﺪﻭ
ﺍﻧﺎ ﻭ ﺍﻟﺘﺎﻧﻲ ﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻧﺎ ﺍﻟﻤﺒﻠﻎ
ﺍﻟﻠﻲ ﺍﺣﺪﻓﻮ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺴﻤﺎ ﻭ
ﻳﻠﺰﻕ ﺣﺘﺒﺮﻉ ﺑﻴﻪ ﺍﻟﻠﻲ ﻳﻨﺰﻝ
ﺣﺨﺪﻭ ﺍﻧﺎ ﻭ ﺍﻟﺘﺎﻟﺖ ﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻧﺎ
ﺣﺮﺳﻢ ﺧﺮﻡ ﻭ ﺍﺭﻣﻲ
ﺍﻟﻔﻠﻮﺱ ﺍﻟﻠﻲ ﻳﻮﻗﻊ ﺟﻮﺓ
ﺣﺘﺒﺮﻉ ﺑﻴﻪ
ﺑﺨﻴﻞ ﺭﺍﺡ ﻋﺸﺎﻥ ﻳﺘﺠﻮﺯ
ﺍﺑﻮ ﺍﻟﻌﺮﻭﺳﺔ ﺑﻴﻘﻮﻟﻮﺍ ﺍﺣﻨﺎ
ﻋﺎﻳﺰﻳﻦ ﻣﻬﺮ ﻋﺸﺮ ﺗﻼﻑ
ﺟﻨﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ ﻗﺎﻟﻪ:ﺍﻳﻪ ﻋﺸﺮ
ﺗﻼﻑ ﺟﻨﻴﺔ ﺩﻩ ﺍﻧﺎ ﻣﻌﺮﻭﺽ
ﻋﻠﻴﺎ ﺑﺎﻟﻔﻴﻦ ﻭﺣﺎﻣﻞ
ﻛﻤﺎﻥ؟؟؟
ﺳﺄﻟﻮﺍ ﺑﺨﻴﻞ:ﻟﻮ ﺍﻟﺪﻧﻴﺎ ﺑﺮﺩ
ﺗﻌﻤﻞ ﺍﻳﻪ؟ ﻗﺎﻝ:ﺍﻗﻌﺪ ﺟﻨﺐ
ﺍﻟﺪﻓﺎﻳﻪ ﻗﺎﻟﻮﻟﻮﺍ ﻟﻮ ﺍﻟﺪﻧﻴﺎ
ﺑﺮﺩ ﻣﻮﺕ؟ﻗﺎﻝ:ﺍﻟﺰﻕ ﻓﻲ
ﺍﻟﺪﻓﺎﻳﻪ ﻗﺎﻟﻮﻟﻮﺍ:ﻃﺐ ﻟﻮ
ﺍﻟﺪﻧﻴﺎ ﺑﻘﺖ ﺗﻠﺞ؟ ﻗﺎﻝ:ﺃﻣﺮﻱ
ﻟﻠﻪ.………ﺃﻓﺘﺢ ﺍﻟﺪﻓﺎﻳﻪ
ﻭﺧﻼﺹ
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Posted inﻧﻜﺖ ﺑﺨﻼﺀ
ﺍﺟﻤﺪ ﻧﻜﺖ ﺑﺨﻼﺀ ﻣﻀﺤﻜﺔ
ﻗـــﻮﻱ
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ﻳﻮﻧﻴﻮ
ﺍﺟﻤﺪ ﻧﻜﺖ ﺑﺨﻼﺀ ﻣﻀﺤﻜﺔ
ﻗـــﻮﻱ
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ﺍﻧﺰﻟﻘﺖ ﺳﻴﺎﺭﺓ ﺗﺎﻛﺴﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ
ﻣﻨﺤﺪﺭ ﺷﺪﻳﺪ ﻓﺼﺎﺡ ﺍﻟﺴﺎﺋﻖ
ﻓﻲ ﺭﻋﺐ” :ﻻ ﺃﺳﺘﻄﻴﻊ
ﺍﻳﻘﺎﻑ ﺍﻟﺴﻴﺎﺭﺓ“ﻓﺮﺩ
ﺍﻟﺮﺍﻛﺐ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ” :ﺃﻭﻗﻒ
ﺍﻟﻌﺪﺍﺩ ﺑﺴﺮﻋﺔ!!! ”
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ﻓﻲ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺑﺨــﻴﻞ ﻃﺐ ﻓﻲ
ﺣﻔﺮﺓ ﻓﺘﺠﻤﻊ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ
ﻋﻠﺸﺎﻥ ﻳﺴﺎﻋﺪﻭﻧﻪ ﺍﻟﻤﻬﻢ ﺍﻧﻪ
ﻓﻲ ﺍﻻﺧﻴﺮ ﻣﺎ ﻛﺎﻥ ﺭﺍﺿﻲ ﺍﻧﻪ
ﻳﻄﻠﻊ ﻓﺠﺎﻫﻢ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺍﻭ
ﺳﺄﻟﻬﻢ ﻋﻦ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﺸﺨﺺ
ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ ﻗﺎﻟﻮﻟﻪ ﺍﺣﻨﺎ ﻗﺎﻋﺪﻳﻦ
ﺍﻧﻘﻮﻟﻪ ﻋﻜﻨﺎ ﻳﺪﻙ ﻋﻄﻨﺎ ﻳﺪﻙ
ﻭﻫﻮ ﺭﺍﻓﺾ ﻗﺎﻝ
ﺑﺴﻴﻄﻪ..ﺧﺬ ﺍﻳﺪﻱ ﻓﻄﻠﻊ
ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ!!
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ﺩﺧﻞ ﺧﻤﺴﺔ ﺑﺨﻼﺀ ﻣﻘﻬﻰ..
ﻭﻃﻠﺒﻮﺍ ﻛﻮﺏ ﻋﺼﻴﺮ..
ﻭﺧﻤﺴﺔ ﺷﻔﺎﻃﺎﺕ!!!
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ﺃﻋﻄﺖ ﺇﻣﺮﺍﺀﺓ ﺑﺨﻴﻠﻪ ﺍﺑﻨﻬﺎ
ﺭﻳﺎﻻً ﻭﻗﺎﻟﺖ ﻟﻪ:ﺃﺫﻫﺐ
ﻭﺍﺷﺘﺮﻱ ﺧﺒﺰﺍً..ﻟﻜﻦ ﻳﺎ
ﻭﻳﻠﻚ ﺍﺫﺍ ﺿﺎﻉ ﺍﻟﺮﻳﺎﻝ ﻣﻨﻚ..
ﻭﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻄﺮﻳﻖ ﻟﻠﻤﺨﺒﺰ ﺷﺎﻫﺪ
ﺍﻟﻮﻟﺪ ﺳﻴﺎﺭﻩ ﺗﺼﺪﻡ ﺃﺑﻮﻩ..
ﻓﺬﻫﺐ ﻣﺴﺮﻋﺎً ﺇﻟﻰ ﺃﻣﻪ
ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻠﻪ ﻭﻗﺎﻝ ﻟﻬﺎ:ﺍﻣﻲ
ﺍﻣﻲ..ﺍﻟﺤﻘﻲ..ﺃﺑﻲ ﺻﺪﻣﺘﻪ
ﺳﻴﺎﺭﻩ!
ﻓﻘﺎﻟﺖ:ﺍﻭﻭﻭﻩ..ﺑﺴﻴﻄﻪ..
ﻇﻨﻨﺖ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻟﺮﻳﺎﻝ ﻗﺪ ﺿﺎﻉ
ﻣﻨﻚ!!!
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ﺍﻟﺘﺎﺟﺮ ﻟﻠﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﻛﻴﻒ ﺗﻄﻠﺐ
ﺷﺮﺍﺀ ﺑﺪﻟﻪ ﺭﺧﻴﺼﺔ ﺟﺪﺍً ﻣﻊ
ﺃﻥ ﺃﺑﻨﻚ ﺍﺷﺘﺮﻯ ﺑﺎﻻﻣﺲ
ﺑﺪﻟﻪ ﻏﺎﻟﻴﺔ.. ؟ﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:<br /> ﻣﺎ ﺍﻟﻐﺮﻳﺐ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻟﻚ..ﺃﺑﻨﻲ ﻣﺎ
ﺯﺍﻝ ﺃﺑﻮﻩ ﺣﻴﺎً..ﺃﻣﺎ ﺃﻧﺎ
ﻓﻴﺘﻴﻢ!!
ﻓﻲ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺑﺨﻴﻞ ﻛﻞ ﻣﺎ ﺑﻐﺎ
ﻳﺮﻭﺡ ﺍﻟﻤﻄﻌﻢ ﻳﺎﺧﺬ ﻣﻌﻪ
ﺻﺮﺍﺻﻴﺮ ﻳﺤﻄﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﻛﻞ
ﻋﺸﺎﻥ ﻣﺎﻳﺪﻓﻊ ﺍﻟﻔﻠﻮﺱ.
ﻣﺮﻩ ﺷﺎﻓﻪ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﻭﺣﺐ ﻳﻘﻠﺪﻩ
ﻗﺎﻡ ﺭﺍﺡ ﻟﻠﺒﺨﻴﻞ ﻳﺒﻲ ﺍﻟﻔﺰﻋﺔ
ﻗﺎﻟﻪ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:<br /> “ﺁﺳﻒ…ﻣﺎﻋﻨﺪﻱ ﻏﻴﺮ ﺫﺑﺎﺑﺔ
ﺃﺑﻲ ﺃﺷﺮﺏ ﺑﻬﺎ ﺷﺎﻫﻲ!!! ”
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ﻗﺎﻝ ﺑﺨﻴﻞ ﻷﺑﻨﺎﺋﻪ:ﻣﻦ ﻳﻨﺠﺢ
ﻣﻨﻜﻢ ﺳﺄﺭﻳﻪ ﺳﻴﺎﺭﺓ
ﺍﻷﻳﺴﻜﺮﻳﻢ!!!!.…
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ﻛﺎﻥ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺑﺨﻴﻞ ﺳﺄﻟﻮﻩ:ﺇﺫﺍ
ﺇﺷﺘﺪ ﺍﻟﺒﺮﺩ ﻭﺵ ﺗﺼﻠﺢ؟
ﻗﺎﻝ:ﺃﻗﺮﺏ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺪﻓﺎﻳﻪ.
ﻗﺎﻟﻮﺍ:ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺇﺷﺘﺪ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ؟ﻗﺎﻝ:ﺃﻗﺮﺏ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ.
ﻗﺎﻟﻮﺍ:ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺇﺷﺘﺪ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ؟
ﻗﺎﻝ:ﺃﻗﺮﺏ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭﺃﻛﺜﺮ.
ﻗﺎﻟﻮﺍ:ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺇﺷﺘﺪ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ؟؟
ﻗﺎﻝ” :ﺃﺷﻐﻞ ﺍﻟﺪﻓﺎﻳﻪ!!!! ”
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ﺍﻷﻭﻝ:ﻛﻴﻒ ﺣﺎﻟﻚ ﻳﺎ ﻋﻠﻲ؟
ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻧﻲ:ﻭﻛﻴﻒ ﻋﺮﻓﺘﻨﻲ
ﻭﺁﺧﺮ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺭﺃﻳﺘﻨﻲ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ
ﻛﺎﻧﺖ ﻗﺒﻞ ﻋﺸﺮﻳﻦ ﻋﺎﻣﺎً؟
ﻭﻗﺪ ﺗﻐﻴﺮﺕ ﻣﻼﻣﺤﻲ.
ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻧﻲ:ﺻﺤﻴﺢ ﺃﻥ ﻣﻼﻣﺤﻚ
ﺗﻐﻴﺮﺕ…ﻟﻜﻦ ﻣﻼﺑﺴﻚ ﻟﻢ
ﺗﺘﻐﻴﺮ!!
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ﻛﺎﻥ ﺃﺣﺪ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻼﺀ ﻣﺘﻀﺎﻳﻘﺎً
ﻭﺣﺰﻳﻨﺎً،ﻓﺴﺄﻟﻪ ﺯﻣﻴﻠﻪ:ﻣﺎ
ﺑﻚ؟
ﻓﻘﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﻟﻘﺪ ﺍﻧﻜﺴﺮﺕ
ﺳﻨﺔ ﻣﻦ ﺃﺳﻨﺎﻥ
ﻣﺸﻄﻲ.ﻭﺃﻧﺎ ﺃﺭﻳﺪ ﺗﺴﺮﻳﺢ
ﺷﻌﺮﻱ.
ﺍﻟﺰﻣﻴﻞ:ﺃﻻ ﻳﻤﻜﻨﻚ
ﺍﺳﺘﺨﺪﺍﻡ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﻂ ﺩﻭﻥ ﻫﺬﻩ
ﺍﻟﺴﻨﺔ؟
ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﻻ…ﻷﻧﻬﺎ ﻛﺎﻧﺖ
ﺍﻟﺴﻨﺔ ﺍﻷﺧﻴﺮﺓ!!!
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ﻓﻴﻪ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺑﺨﻴﻞ ﺍﺷﺘﺮﻯ ﺁﻟﻪ
ﺣﺎﺳﺒﺔ..ﻓﻘﺎﻡ ﺣﺬﻑ ﺍﻟﺼﻔﺮ
ﻣﻨﻬﺎ..ﺣﺘﻰ ﻻ ﻳﺘﻜﻠﻢ ﺃﺑﻨﺎﺀﻩ
ﺑﻬﺎ ﻣﻜﺎﻟﻤﺎﺕ ﺩﻭﻟﻴﻪ!!!!!
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ﻛﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ ﻭ ﻭﻟﺪﻩ
ﻳﻤﺸﻴﺎﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺟﻨﺎﺯﺓ..ﻓﺴﻤﻊ
ﺍﻟﻮﻟﺪ ﺯﻭﺟﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﻴﺖ ﺗﻘﻮﻝ:<br /> ﺁﻩ ﻳﺎ ﺯﻭﺟﻲ..ﺳﻴﺬﻫﺒﻮﻥ
ﺑﻚ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺑﻴﺖ ﻟﻴﺲ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻣﺎﺀ
ﻭﻻ ﻃﻌﺎﻡ ﻭﻻ ﻓﺮﺍﺵ ﻭﻻ
ﻛﺴﺎﺀ…
ﻓﻘﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﻮﻟﺪ ﻷﺑﻴﻪ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ” :<br /> ﻫﻞ ﺳﻴﺬﻫﺒﻮﻥ ﺑﻪ ﺇﻟﻰ
ﺑﻴﺘﻨﺎ” ؟
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ﺍﺷﺘﺮﻯ ﺑﺨﻴﻞ ﺛﻼﺛﺔ
ﺑﺮﺗﻘﺎﻻﺕ..ﻗﻄﻊ ﺍﻷﻭﻟﻰ
ﻓﻮﺟﺪﻫﺎ ﻣﺘﻌﻔﻨﺔ ﻓﺮﻣﺎﻫﺎ..
ﻭﻗﻄﻊ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻧﻴﺔ ﻓﻮﺟﺪﻫﺎ ﺃﻳﻀﺎً
ﻣﺘﻌﻔﻨﺔ ﻓﺮﻣﺎﻫﺎ…ﻓﺄﻃﻔﺄ
ﺍﻟﻨﻮﺭ ﻭﻗﻄﻊ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺜﺔ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﻠﻬﺎ!!!
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ﺗﺮﺍﻫﻦ ﺑﺨﻴﻼﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻣﻦ
ﻳﺒﻘﻰ ﺗﺤﺖ ﺍﻟﻤﺎﺀ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻣﻦ
ﺍﻵﺧﺮ ﻳﺪﻋﻮﻩ ﻟﻠﻌﺸﺎﺀ…
ﻓﻠﻢ ﻳﺨﺮﺝ ﺃﺣﺪ ﻣﻨﻬﻤﺎ ﻟﺤﺪ
ﺍﻵﻥ!!
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ﺍﺟﺘﻤﻊ ﺛﻼﺛﺔ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻼﺀ
ﻭﻗﺮﺭﻭﺍ ﺍﻟﺘﺒﺮﻉ ﺑﺠﺰﺀ ﻣﻦ
ﻣﺎﻟﻬﻢ ﺑﻌﺪﻣﺎ ﻛﺜﺮ ﻛﻼﻡ
ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻢ..
ﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ ﺍﻷﻭﻝ:ﺳﺄﺭﺳﻢ
ﺩﺍﺋﺮﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻭﺃﺭﻣﻲ
ﺍﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻓﺎﻟﻤﺎﻝ
ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﺴﻘﻂ ﺑﺪﺍﺧﻠﻬﺎ ﻟﻲ.
ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﺴﻘﻂ ﺧﺎﺭﺟﻬﺎ
ﻟﻠﻔﻘﺮﺍﺀ!
ﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻧﻲ:ﺃﻣﺎ ﺃﻧﺎ
ﻓﺴﺄﺭﺳﻢ ﺧﻄﺎً ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ.
ﻭﺃﺭﻣﻲ ﺍﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺴﻤﺎﺀ.
ﻓﺎﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻳﻤﻴﻦ
ﺍﻟﺨﻂ ﻟﻲ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ
ﺷﻤﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺨﻂ ﻟﻠﻔﻘﺮﺍﺀ!!
ﻓﻘﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺚ)ﻭﻛﺎﻥ ﺃﺷﺪﻫﻢ
ﺑﺨﻼً: (ﺃﻣﺎ ﺃﻧﺎ ﻓﺴﺄﺭﻣﻲ
ﺍﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺴﻤﺎﺀ.ﻓﺎﻟﻤﺎﻝ
ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﺴﻘﻂ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ
ﻟﻲ.ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﺒﻘﻰ ﻓﻲ
ﺍﻟﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻓﻠﻠﻔﻘﺮﺍﺀ!!!
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ﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﻮﻟﺪ ﺍﻟﺼﻐﻴﺮ ﻷﻣﻪ
ﻣﺴﺘﻐﺮﺑﺎً:ﻋﺠﺒﺎً ﻣﻦ ﺟﻴﺮﺍﻧﻨﺎ
ﻣﺎ ﺃﺑﺨﻠﻬﻢ!
ﺍﻷﻡ:ﻛﻴﻒ؟
ﺍﻟﻮﻟﺪ:ﻟﻘﺪ ﺃﻗﺎﻣﻮﺍ ﺍﻟﺪﻧﻴﺎ ﻭﻟﻢ
ﻳﻘﻌﺪﻭﻫﺎ ﻷﻥ ﺍﺑﻨﻬﻢ ﺍﺑﺘﻠﻊ½
ﺭﻳﺎﻝ!!!
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ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﺣﻈﻲ ﺳﻴﺊ!!
ﺍﻟﺼﺪﻳﻖ:ﻭﻟﻤﺎﺫﺍ؟
ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﻷﻥ ﺍﻟﺼﻴﺪﻟﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ
ﺑﺠﻮﺍﺭﻧﺎ ﺃﻋﻠﻨﺖ ﻋﻦ
ﺗﺨﻔﻴﻀﺎﺕ ﻭﻟﻴﺲ ﻓﻴﻨﺎ ﺃﺣﺪ
ﻣﺮﻳﺾ!!!
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ﺟﻠﺲ ﺃﺣﺪ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻼﺀ ﻣﻊ ﺯﻭﺟﺘﻪ
ﻳﺄﻛﻼﻥ ﺍﻟﻐﺪﺍﺀ ﻓﻲ ﻗﺪﺭ.
ﻓﻘﺎﻝ:ﻣﺎ ﺃﻃﻴﺐ ﺍﻟﻐﺪﺍﺀ ﻟﻮﻻ
ﺍﻟﺰﺣﺎﻡ.
ﻓﻘﺎﻟﺖ ﺍﻟﺰﻭﺟﺔ:ﺃﻱ ﺯﺣﺎﻡ ﻭﻻ
ﻳﻮﺟﺪ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻧﺎ ﻭﺃﻧﺖ.
ﻓﺮﺩ ﺍﻟﺰﻭﺝ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﻛﻨﺖ
ﺃﺗﻤﻨﻰ ﻟﻮ ﻛﻨﺖ ﺃﻧﺎ ﻭﺍﻟﻘﺪﺭ
ﻓﻘﻂ!!!!
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ﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﻄﺒﻴﺐ ﻟﻠﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﺧﺬ ﻣﻦ
ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﺪﻭﺍﺀ ﺃﺭﺑﻊ ﻣﻼﻋﻖ ﻛﻞ
ﻳﻮﻡ.
ﻓﺮﺩ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﻟﻜﻦ ﻳﺎ
ﺩﻛﺘﻮﺭ..ﻻ ﻳﻮﺟﺪ ﻋﻨﺪﻱ ﺇﻻ
ﻣﻠﻌﻘﺘﻴﻦ ﻓﻘﻂ!ﻓﻤﺎ
ﺍﻟﻌﻤﻞ؟؟
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ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺑﺨﻴﻞ ﻗﺎﻝ ﻻﺑﻨﻪ:ﺇﻧﺠﺢ
ﺍﻟﺴﻨﺔ ﺩﻱ ﻭﺍﻧﺎ ﺃﺟﺒﻠﻚ
ﻛﻮﺭﺓ..ﺍﻟﻮﻟﺪ ﺷﺪ ﺣﻴﻠﻪ
ﻭﻧﺠﺢ..ﺃﺑﻮﻩ ﺇﺷﺘﺮﻯ ﻟﻪ
ﻛﻮﺭﺓ..ﻭﻗﺎﻝ ﻟﻪ:ﻃﺐ ﻟﻮ
ﻧﺠﺤﺖ ﺍﻟﺴﻨﺔ ﺍﻟﺠﺎﻳﺔ ﺃﻧﻔﺨﻬﺎ
ﻟﻚ
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ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺑﺨﻴﻞ ﺩﺧﻞ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﻻﺩﻩ
ﻭﻗﻌﺪ ﻳﺰﻋﻖ ﺑﺼﻮﺕ ﻋﺎﻟﻰ
ﻋﻠﺸﺎﻥ ﻣﺸﻐﻠﻴﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﺮﻭﺣﻪ
ﻋﻠﻰ3ﻭﻫﻤﺎ2ﺑﺲ
Comment 1
Posted inﻧﻜﺖ ﺑﺨﻼﺀ
ﻧﻜﺖ ﺑﺨﻼﺀ,2009ﻧﻜﺖ
ﺑﺨﻼﺀ2010
30
ﻳﻮﻧﻴﻮ
ﺍﺷﺘﺮﻯ ﺑﺨﻴﻞ ﺛﻼﺛﺔ
ﺑﺮﺗﻘﺎﻻﺕ..ﻗﻄﻊ ﺍﻷﻭﻟﻰ
ﻓﻮﺟﺪﻫﺎ ﻣﺘﻌﻔﻨﺔ ﻓﺮﻣﺎﻫﺎ..
ﻭﻗﻄﻊ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻧﻴﺔ ﻓﻮﺟﺪﻫﺎ ﺃﻳﻀﺎً
ﻣﺘﻌﻔﻨﺔ ﻓﺮﻣﺎﻫﺎ…ﻓﺄﻃﻔﺄ
ﺍﻟﻨﻮﺭ ﻭﻗﻄﻊ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺜﺔ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﻠﻬﺎ!!!
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ﺗﺮﺍﻫﻦ ﺑﺨﻴﻼﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻣﻦ
ﻳﺒﻘﻰ ﺗﺤﺖ ﺍﻟﻤﺎﺀ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻣﻦ
ﺍﻵﺧﺮ ﻳﺪﻋﻮﻩ ﻟﻠﻌﺸﺎﺀ…
ﻓﻠﻢ ﻳﺨﺮﺝ ﺃﺣﺪ ﻣﻨﻬﻤﺎ ﻟﺤﺪ
ﺍﻵﻥ!!
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ﺍﺟﺘﻤﻊ ﺛﻼﺛﺔ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻼﺀ
ﻭﻗﺮﺭﻭﺍ ﺍﻟﺘﺒﺮﻉ ﺑﺠﺰﺀ ﻣﻦ
ﻣﺎﻟﻬﻢ ﺑﻌﺪﻣﺎ ﻛﺜﺮ ﻛﻼﻡ
ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻢ..
ﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ ﺍﻷﻭﻝ:ﺳﺄﺭﺳﻢ
ﺩﺍﺋﺮﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ ﻭﺃﺭﻣﻲ
ﺍﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻓﺎﻟﻤﺎﻝ
ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﺴﻘﻂ ﺑﺪﺍﺧﻠﻬﺎ ﻟﻲ.
ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﺴﻘﻂ ﺧﺎﺭﺟﻬﺎ
ﻟﻠﻔﻘﺮﺍﺀ!
ﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻧﻲ:ﺃﻣﺎ ﺃﻧﺎ
ﻓﺴﺄﺭﺳﻢ ﺧﻄﺎً ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ.
ﻭﺃﺭﻣﻲ ﺍﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺴﻤﺎﺀ.
ﻓﺎﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻳﻤﻴﻦ
ﺍﻟﺨﻂ ﻟﻲ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻋﻠﻰ
ﺷﻤﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺨﻂ ﻟﻠﻔﻘﺮﺍﺀ!!
ﻓﻘﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺚ)ﻭﻛﺎﻥ ﺃﺷﺪﻫﻢ
ﺑﺨﻼً: (ﺃﻣﺎ ﺃﻧﺎ ﻓﺴﺄﺭﻣﻲ
ﺍﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺴﻤﺎﺀ.ﻓﺎﻟﻤﺎﻝ
ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﺴﻘﻂ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﺽ
ﻟﻲ.ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﺒﻘﻰ ﻓﻲ
ﺍﻟﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻓﻠﻠﻔﻘﺮﺍﺀ!!!
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ﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﻮﻟﺪ ﺍﻟﺼﻐﻴﺮ ﻷﻣﻪ
ﻣﺴﺘﻐﺮﺑﺎً:ﻋﺠﺒﺎً ﻣﻦ ﺟﻴﺮﺍﻧﻨﺎ
ﻣﺎ ﺃﺑﺨﻠﻬﻢ!
ﺍﻷﻡ:ﻛﻴﻒ؟
ﺍﻟﻮﻟﺪ:ﻟﻘﺪ ﺃﻗﺎﻣﻮﺍ ﺍﻟﺪﻧﻴﺎ ﻭﻟﻢ
ﻳﻘﻌﺪﻭﻫﺎ ﻷﻥ ﺍﺑﻨﻬﻢ ﺍﺑﺘﻠﻊ½
ﺭﻳﺎﻝ!!!
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ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﺣﻈﻲ ﺳﻴﺊ!!
ﺍﻟﺼﺪﻳﻖ:ﻭﻟﻤﺎﺫﺍ؟
ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﻷﻥ ﺍﻟﺼﻴﺪﻟﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ
ﺑﺠﻮﺍﺭﻧﺎ ﺃﻋﻠﻨﺖ ﻋﻦ
ﺗﺨﻔﻴﻀﺎﺕ ﻭﻟﻴﺲ ﻓﻴﻨﺎ ﺃﺣﺪ
ﻣﺮﻳﺾ!!!
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ﺟﻠﺲ ﺃﺣﺪ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻼﺀ ﻣﻊ ﺯﻭﺟﺘﻪ
ﻳﺄﻛﻼﻥ ﺍﻟﻐﺪﺍﺀ ﻓﻲ ﻗﺪﺭ.
ﻓﻘﺎﻝ:ﻣﺎ ﺃﻃﻴﺐ ﺍﻟﻐﺪﺍﺀ ﻟﻮﻻ
ﺍﻟﺰﺣﺎﻡ.
ﻓﻘﺎﻟﺖ ﺍﻟﺰﻭﺟﺔ:ﺃﻱ ﺯﺣﺎﻡ ﻭﻻ
ﻳﻮﺟﺪ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻧﺎ ﻭﺃﻧﺖ.
ﻓﺮﺩ ﺍﻟﺰﻭﺝ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﻛﻨﺖ
ﺃﺗﻤﻨﻰ ﻟﻮ ﻛﻨﺖ ﺃﻧﺎ ﻭﺍﻟﻘﺪﺭ
ﻓﻘﻂ!!!!
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No Comments
Posted inﻧﻜﺖ ﺑﺨﻼﺀ
ﺍﻟﻮﺳﻮﻡ:ﺑﺨﻼﺀ2009,ﺑﺨﻼﺀ
2010
ﻧﻜﺖ ﺑﺨﻼﺀ ﺟﺪﻳﺪﺓ–ﻧﻜﺖ
ﺟﺪﻳﺪﺓ ﺑﺨﻼﺀ
30
ﻳﻮﻧﻴﻮ
ﻗﺎﻝ ﺑﺨﻴﻞ ﻷﺑﻨﺎﺋﻪ:ﻣﻦ ﻳﻨﺠﺢ
ﻣﻨﻜﻢ ﺳﺄﺭﻳﻪ ﺳﻴﺎﺭﺓ
ﺍﻷﻳﺴﻜﺮﻳﻢ!!!!.…
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ﻛﺎﻥ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺑﺨﻴﻞ ﺳﺄﻟﻮﻩ:ﺇﺫﺍ
ﺇﺷﺘﺪ ﺍﻟﺒﺮﺩ ﻭﺵ ﺗﺼﻠﺢ؟
ﻗﺎﻝ:ﺃﻗﺮﺏ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺪﻓﺎﻳﻪ.
ﻗﺎﻟﻮﺍ:ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺇﺷﺘﺪ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ؟ﻗﺎﻝ:ﺃﻗﺮﺏ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ.
ﻗﺎﻟﻮﺍ:ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺇﺷﺘﺪ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ؟
ﻗﺎﻝ:ﺃﻗﺮﺏ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭﺃﻛﺜﺮ.
ﻗﺎﻟﻮﺍ:ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺇﺷﺘﺪ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻭ
ﺃﻛﺜﺮ؟؟
ﻗﺎﻝ” :ﺃﺷﻐﻞ ﺍﻟﺪﻓﺎﻳﻪ!!!! ”
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ﺍﻷﻭﻝ:ﻛﻴﻒ ﺣﺎﻟﻚ ﻳﺎ ﻋﻠﻲ؟
ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻧﻲ:ﻭﻛﻴﻒ ﻋﺮﻓﺘﻨﻲ
ﻭﺁﺧﺮ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺭﺃﻳﺘﻨﻲ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ
ﻛﺎﻧﺖ ﻗﺒﻞ ﻋﺸﺮﻳﻦ ﻋﺎﻣﺎً؟
ﻭﻗﺪ ﺗﻐﻴﺮﺕ ﻣﻼﻣﺤﻲ.
ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻧﻲ:ﺻﺤﻴﺢ ﺃﻥ ﻣﻼﻣﺤﻚ
ﺗﻐﻴﺮﺕ…ﻟﻜﻦ ﻣﻼﺑﺴﻚ ﻟﻢ
ﺗﺘﻐﻴﺮ!!
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ﻛﺎﻥ ﺃﺣﺪ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻼﺀ ﻣﺘﻀﺎﻳﻘﺎً
ﻭﺣﺰﻳﻨﺎً،ﻓﺴﺄﻟﻪ ﺯﻣﻴﻠﻪ:ﻣﺎ
ﺑﻚ؟
ﻓﻘﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﻟﻘﺪ ﺍﻧﻜﺴﺮﺕ
ﺳﻨﺔ ﻣﻦ ﺃﺳﻨﺎﻥ
ﻣﺸﻄﻲ.ﻭﺃﻧﺎ ﺃﺭﻳﺪ ﺗﺴﺮﻳﺢ
ﺷﻌﺮﻱ.
ﺍﻟﺰﻣﻴﻞ:ﺃﻻ ﻳﻤﻜﻨﻚ
ﺍﺳﺘﺨﺪﺍﻡ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﻂ ﺩﻭﻥ ﻫﺬﻩ
ﺍﻟﺴﻨﺔ؟
ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﻻ…ﻷﻧﻬﺎ ﻛﺎﻧﺖ
ﺍﻟﺴﻨﺔ ﺍﻷﺧﻴﺮﺓ!!!
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ﻓﻴﻪ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺑﺨﻴﻞ ﺍﺷﺘﺮﻯ ﺁﻟﻪ
ﺣﺎﺳﺒﺔ..ﻓﻘﺎﻡ ﺣﺬﻑ ﺍﻟﺼﻔﺮ
ﻣﻨﻬﺎ..ﺣﺘﻰ ﻻ ﻳﺘﻜﻠﻢ ﺃﺑﻨﺎﺀﻩ
ﺑﻬﺎ ﻣﻜﺎﻟﻤﺎﺕ ﺩﻭﻟﻴﻪ!!!!!
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ﻛﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ ﻭ ﻭﻟﺪﻩ
ﻳﻤﺸﻴﺎﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺟﻨﺎﺯﺓ..ﻓﺴﻤﻊ
ﺍﻟﻮﻟﺪ ﺯﻭﺟﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﻴﺖ ﺗﻘﻮﻝ:<br /> ﺁﻩ ﻳﺎ ﺯﻭﺟﻲ..ﺳﻴﺬﻫﺒﻮﻥ
ﺑﻚ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺑﻴﺖ ﻟﻴﺲ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻣﺎﺀ
ﻭﻻ ﻃﻌﺎﻡ ﻭﻻ ﻓﺮﺍﺵ ﻭﻻ
ﻛﺴﺎﺀ…
ﻓﻘﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﻮﻟﺪ ﻷﺑﻴﻪ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ” :<br /> ﻫﻞ ﺳﻴﺬﻫﺒﻮﻥ ﺑﻪ ﺇﻟﻰ
ﺑﻴﺘﻨﺎ” ؟
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No Comments
Posted inﻧﻜﺖ ﺑﺨﻼﺀ
ﺍﻟﻮﺳﻮﻡ:ﻧﻜﺖ ﺑﺨﻼ ﺟﺪﻳﺪﺓ,
ﻧﻜﺖ ﺟﺪﻳﺪﺓ ﺑﺨﻼ
ﻧﻜﺖ ﺑﺨﻼﺀ–ﻧﻜﺖ ﺑﺨﻼ
30
ﻳﻮﻧﻴﻮ
ﺍﻧﺰﻟﻘﺖ ﺳﻴﺎﺭﺓ ﺗﺎﻛﺴﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ
ﻣﻨﺤﺪﺭ ﺷﺪﻳﺪ ﻓﺼﺎﺡ ﺍﻟﺴﺎﺋﻖ
ﻓﻲ ﺭﻋﺐ” :ﻻ ﺃﺳﺘﻄﻴﻊ
ﺍﻳﻘﺎﻑ ﺍﻟﺴﻴﺎﺭﺓ”ﻓﺮﺩ
ﺍﻟﺮﺍﻛﺐ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ” :ﺃﻭﻗﻒ
ﺍﻟﻌﺪﺍﺩ ﺑﺴﺮﻋﺔ!!! ”
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ﻓﻲ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺑﺨــﻴﻞ ﻃﺐ ﻓﻲ
ﺣﻔﺮﺓ ﻓﺘﺠﻤﻊ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ
ﻋﻠﺸﺎﻥ ﻳﺴﺎﻋﺪﻭﻧﻪ ﺍﻟﻤﻬﻢ ﺍﻧﻪ
ﻓﻲ ﺍﻻﺧﻴﺮ ﻣﺎ ﻛﺎﻥ ﺭﺍﺿﻲ ﺍﻧﻪ
ﻳﻄﻠﻊ ﻓﺠﺎﻫﻢ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺍﻭ
ﺳﺄﻟﻬﻢ ﻋﻦ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﺸﺨﺺ
ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ ﻗﺎﻟﻮﻟﻪ ﺍﺣﻨﺎ ﻗﺎﻋﺪﻳﻦ
ﺍﻧﻘﻮﻟﻪ ﻋﻜﻨﺎ ﻳﺪﻙ ﻋﻄﻨﺎ ﻳﺪﻙ
ﻭﻫﻮ ﺭﺍﻓﺾ ﻗﺎﻝ
ﺑﺴﻴﻄﻪ..ﺧﺬ ﺍﻳﺪﻱ ﻓﻄﻠﻊ
ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ!!
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ﺩﺧﻞ ﺧﻤﺴﺔ ﺑﺨﻼﺀ ﻣﻘﻬﻰ..
ﻭﻃﻠﺒﻮﺍ ﻛﻮﺏ ﻋﺼﻴﺮ..
ﻭﺧﻤﺴﺔ ﺷﻔﺎﻃﺎﺕ!!!
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ﺃﻋﻄﺖ ﺇﻣﺮﺍﺀﺓ ﺑﺨﻴﻠﻪ ﺍﺑﻨﻬﺎ
ﺭﻳﺎﻻً ﻭﻗﺎﻟﺖ ﻟﻪ:ﺃﺫﻫﺐ
ﻭﺍﺷﺘﺮﻱ ﺧﺒﺰﺍً..ﻟﻜﻦ ﻳﺎ
ﻭﻳﻠﻚ ﺍﺫﺍ ﺿﺎﻉ ﺍﻟﺮﻳﺎﻝ ﻣﻨﻚ..
ﻭﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻄﺮﻳﻖ ﻟﻠﻤﺨﺒﺰ ﺷﺎﻫﺪ
ﺍﻟﻮﻟﺪ ﺳﻴﺎﺭﻩ ﺗﺼﺪﻡ ﺃﺑﻮﻩ..
ﻓﺬﻫﺐ ﻣﺴﺮﻋﺎً ﺇﻟﻰ ﺃﻣﻪ
ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻠﻪ ﻭﻗﺎﻝ ﻟﻬﺎ:ﺍﻣﻲ
ﺍﻣﻲ..ﺍﻟﺤﻘﻲ..ﺃﺑﻲ ﺻﺪﻣﺘﻪ
ﺳﻴﺎﺭﻩ!
ﻓﻘﺎﻟﺖ:ﺍﻭﻭﻭﻩ..ﺑﺴﻴﻄﻪ..
ﻇﻨﻨﺖ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻟﺮﻳﺎﻝ ﻗﺪ ﺿﺎﻉ
ﻣﻨﻚ!!!
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ﺍﻟﺘﺎﺟﺮ ﻟﻠﺒﺨﻴﻞ:ﻛﻴﻒ ﺗﻄﻠﺐ
ﺷﺮﺍﺀ ﺑﺪﻟﻪ ﺭﺧﻴﺼﺔ ﺟﺪﺍً ﻣﻊ
ﺃﻥ ﺃﺑﻨﻚ ﺍﺷﺘﺮﻯ ﺑﺎﻻﻣﺲ
ﺑﺪﻟﻪ ﻏﺎﻟﻴﺔ.. ؟ﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:<br /> ﻣﺎ ﺍﻟﻐﺮﻳﺐ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻟﻚ..ﺃﺑﻨﻲ ﻣﺎ
ﺯﺍﻝ ﺃﺑﻮﻩ ﺣﻴﺎً..ﺃﻣﺎ ﺃﻧﺎ
ﻓﻴﺘﻴﻢ!!
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ﻓﻲ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺑﺨﻴﻞ ﻛﻞ ﻣﺎ ﺑﻐﺎ
ﻳﺮﻭﺡ ﺍﻟﻤﻄﻌﻢ ﻳﺎﺧﺬ ﻣﻌﻪ
ﺻﺮﺍﺻﻴﺮ ﻳﺤﻄﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﻛﻞ
ﻋﺸﺎﻥ ﻣﺎﻳﺪﻓﻊ ﺍﻟﻔﻠﻮﺱ.
ﻣﺮﻩ ﺷﺎﻓﻪ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﻭﺣﺐ ﻳﻘﻠﺪﻩ
ﻗﺎﻡ ﺭﺍﺡ ﻟﻠﺒﺨﻴﻞ ﻳﺒﻲ ﺍﻟﻔﺰﻋﺔ
ﻗﺎﻟﻪ ﺍﻟﺒﺨﻴﻞ:<br /> ”ﺁﺳﻒ…ﻣﺎﻋﻨﺪﻱ ﻏﻴﺮ ﺫﺑﺎﺑﺔ
ﺃﺑﻲ ﺃﺷﺮﺏ ﺑﻬﺎ ﺷﺎﻫﻲ!!! ”
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